I am what I am

 “By the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me” (1 Corinthians 15:10NIV).

Oh Father God help me to see that...that I am what I am by your grace...that I am not too great a sinner, to much of slow learner, a repeat offender to be forgiven but more then that, to be your servant and to bring others to you.  
Somedays I feel like I'll never get this, I'll never change, never stop making mistakes over and over again.  I keep thinking that the reason we, our family, Geoff and I, are stuck in the spot we can't seem to get out of is because we just don't change, we just keep making the same mistakes over and over and until we stop you can't bring us out of this.  
But I know this is the enemy tormenting me, making me feel punished.  I also know that You are changing us God.  The last 2 weeks have brought such change, such light, such hope to our lives.  Nothing in our financial situation has changed, none of the stress is really gone but you have brought us to a place where we are working together to change what we can...the chaos, disorganization and clutter in our house and our lives.... and letting what we can't change be something we give to you.  
And it's working Lord, I feel it, I feel you.
Lord we just want to serve you, to be a witness to you.  I am very certain there are many who look at us and shake their heads and wonder how we can call ourselves followers of you... those who have known us for so long and are stuck viewing us for the past we lived, the sins we committed.  But You have brought others to our lives who see each tiny step we take and encourage us, praise us, compliment us...celebrate with us...and moreover, pray with us.  I thank you Jesus for bringing those people to us and for bringing us the hope to push past those who can't see it and focus only you, not on those the enemy wishes us to hear and see.
Please bless all today who are seeking you, needing you.  I pray especially for Geoff today...I am very certain that you have a big change about to happen for him...if not today then very soon.  Please help us to be patient and hopeful and keep our eyes on the prize...YOU!
Amen