Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Out with the Old and In with the New

Father God it has been so long since I dedicated time to spend with you this way.  It is something that eats at me and yet seems so easy to do, so easy to find excuses to not do.  I pray that you will help me God to remain focused on you and on spending time with you.  I pray that you will help me to put to death the sinful ways I have that take me away from you and take my focus from you.
Today's devotion speaks of this...how we are born again in you and need to put to death the old sinful ways and make room for the new ways.  Ways that are honouring to you, ways that help to welcome others to your table.
Change is hard and doesn't come naturally to me...to anyone.  Help to strengthen me Lord, help me to put this to practice.
Clothe me with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Those last two, Jesus, those are the hardest for me at times.  So often I let the world get in and distract me and then I lose both of those.  I want that to stop, I need that to stop.  I know you are strong, God, and I know you will help me change as long as I am willing.  Pull away my blinders, pull down the walls I put up and change me Lord.  So often my impatience comes from a lack of forgiveness of others faults and that is just so wrong.  You forgive me daily, you allow me to make mistakes and keep welcoming me back, keep being patient with...so why can't I show this grace on others???
I pray that you will change my heart Lord.  I pray that you will help me be the person you saved me to be.
I love you sweet Jesus and pray for this today and always.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Starting at the Beginning

Father God you created every living thing; every bird, every animal, every plant, every tree, every drop of water, every grain of sand and every human being.  It all begins with you and it all ends with you.  So often we forget to thank you and to honour your for this.  More often though we forget to cherish each day, each breath, each moment.  Life has a way of getting in our way and that is the worst excuse going.  Nothing should stop me from honouring you, nothing should stop me from remembering how I came to be and why I am here.  So often I find myself wandering in prayer.  Why is it so easy for me to wander from you when you have never wandered from me???
Help me God to stay focused and to stay grounded in you.  Help me to never forget the gift that life is, that my life is. I want to be closer to you God but I let so much get in the way.  I am not the servant I want to be, I am not the witness I want to be.  Am I the servant and witness you want me to be?  Change me God if I am not. Keep me focused on you, keep me focused on what it is that you want me to do with my life.  Use me God to better your world, this world that you so freely have given us and we have abused and mistreated it and those in it.  I am your faithful servant and I am trying hard to empty myself of my will so that you can do whatever it is with my life, take me wherever you want me to go.  I need to stop resisting, I need to stop being  a Jonah.  Make your channel God.

Friday, December 6, 2013

My Identity in You

Oh heavenly Father, today I am processing a devotion on identity...how I view myself and how that gives way to sin.  God I know I need help here.  I view myself as overweight, lacking in self-worth and a failure at times and yet others I view myself with excessive self worth...it makes no sense.  Why can't I just see myself as you see me...perfect, wonderful, beautiful...exactly as you made me.  When I view myself in a negative light then I end up giving way to sinful behaviour.... glutteny, over eating especially poor food choices.  I gossip, I focus on the negatives in others, I put undo attention on myself.  So many things, so many bad choices.
God, please help me to identify myself in you.  Help me to see myself as you see me.  Help me to ward off the negative self talk, the words of the enemy creeping in and making me doubt everything about me. With confidence given by you, not by me, I can do many great things in you. I can be a good servant and witness.
Thank you so much for the person you have made me.  Thank you for the strength you have given me to get healthy, to eat better, to exercise more, to lose the weight that has pulled me down for years.  Please continue to bless me in this way.  Thank you for the gifts of words that I have been blessed with and have shared so freely with others, I know you are using me to help others refocus when grief has torn them down.  And thank you God for my life, for saving me!
I love you Lord Jesus, with all my heart and wish only to be the best servant I can be.

Thursday, December 5, 2013


Oh Heavenly Father; today I am reminded of all the wondrous surprises you present us with.  How often do we think we can predict what will come next, how often do we just coast along in life, going through the motions and never giving it a second thought until something happens to cause us to sit up and take notice.  To take notice of you!
God I am so sorry for missing the purpose of your surprises at times.  I am so sorry for not being patient to wait for them.  I am even more sorry for the times I have just gone through the motions and not given my life and the blessings it is filled with much thought let alone praised you for it.
It is so encouraging to know that you are a surprising God for the surprises are the ways that you break our cycle, especially when it is a cycle of sin.
I want to be open and welcoming to all the surprises you have for me Lord.  Help me to appreciate my life at all times...in the times of surprise and excitement, in the times of sorrow, sadness, strife, and trials and all the times in between when life might seem just abit stagnant and boring.  Help me to see that each and every part is a gift from you.
I want to be your servant Lord, to serve you in all of these times, to not doubt, to be faithful and sure and to be a witness to your amazing love.  Help me Lord, strengthen me Lord, give me patience.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Faith and Patience

Heavenly Father;
So often it is hard for me to be patient and wait for you to answer my prayers.  So often I think I am getting the answer and jump ahead with what my selfish heart wants, convincing myself it is what you want me to do, only to end making mistakes, making the wrong choice, ending up in more troubles instead of less.
When we have faith in you, when we trust you to bring the change, to answer the prayers, to bring the next stage of our life forward instead of rushing ahead without thinking, without being impatient, we are rewarded.
Help, oh God, to be patient.  Help me to be still and listen.  Help me to pray before I act...not just think before I act.  Help me to be a good servant by giving me the much needed patience that is required to hear your voice and feel your guidance.

Friday, November 29, 2013

I am what I am

 “By the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me” (1 Corinthians 15:10NIV).

Oh Father God help me to see that...that I am what I am by your grace...that I am not too great a sinner, to much of slow learner, a repeat offender to be forgiven but more then that, to be your servant and to bring others to you.  

Somedays I feel like I'll never get this, I'll never change, never stop making mistakes over and over again.  I keep thinking that the reason we, our family, Geoff and I, are stuck in the spot we can't seem to get out of is because we just don't change, we just keep making the same mistakes over and over and until we stop you can't bring us out of this.  
But I know this is the enemy tormenting me, making me feel punished.  I also know that You are changing us God.  The last 2 weeks have brought such change, such light, such hope to our lives.  Nothing in our financial situation has changed, none of the stress is really gone but you have brought us to a place where we are working together to change what we can...the chaos, disorganization and clutter in our house and our lives.... and letting what we can't change be something we give to you.  
And it's working Lord, I feel it, I feel you.
Lord we just want to serve you, to be a witness to you.  I am very certain there are many who look at us and shake their heads and wonder how we can call ourselves followers of you... those who have known us for so long and are stuck viewing us for the past we lived, the sins we committed.  But You have brought others to our lives who see each tiny step we take and encourage us, praise us, compliment us...celebrate with us...and moreover, pray with us.  I thank you Jesus for bringing those people to us and for bringing us the hope to push past those who can't see it and focus only you, not on those the enemy wishes us to hear and see.

Please bless all today who are seeking you, needing you.  I pray especially for Geoff today...I am very certain that you have a big change about to happen for him...if not today then very soon.  Please help us to be patient and hopeful and keep our eyes on the prize...YOU!

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Give Thanks for a Grateful Heart

Heavenly Father;
Today's devotion spoke of Thanksgiving...obviously American based since it's their Thanksgiving today.  It challenged me to think about how thankful I am, how often I express that as well how gratitude is a powerful witness to you and how I will live that out.
Jesus you have walked a difficult path with me and I am so very thankful that you are there each step of the way.  I could sit here to day and type about all the many things I am thankful for... a faithful, loving husband, amazing children, our home, our food, our health, a wonderful family of parents, brothers, sister in laws, nieces and nephews, the most amazing church and church family, caring friends, a great job I love etc.  But the thing that catches me on this is the question 'how is gratitude a powerful witness to our faith in you?
I don't even have to pause to think...being grateful for all that losing my son has brought to my life is likely the most powerful witness I can imagine.  And truly Lord, I am thankful that my son is with you.  I am thankful for the experiences that loss has taught me.  I am so very blessed by all the people that have come into my life because I lost him.  I am delighted in the things You have motivated me to do through the healing process after losing him.  I am sad, I get angry, I know that I wish, many times over, that he was here.  But I am grateful and I thank you Lord for taking Cole home and giving him an eternity of pain free existence.  Moreover God, I am so very thankful that you saved my life, changed my life, made me more whole, more sympathetic, empathetic and more compassionate through his loss.
God you are ever powerful but you are also ever loving.  I am so blessed and my life is so rich because you choose it to be that way.  You have given me great gifts and I thank you for each and every one...even the ones that others would never wish on anyone!