Father God, you are so holy, so full of goodness and grace. You have forgiven me of so much and yet you continue to keep blessing me with grace. I just don't seem to get it somedays, ok many days, Lord. I am so new to turning to you for help and to turning to your word. I am learning, I am working on it....but some days I just feel stuck, feel like I am just not going anywhere.
God I need your help to understand how to be 'a good Christian wife' in my world. Not the one of the bible, not the one of those around me but my world...the one I encounter daily, the one that has the setting of my family. I am struggling in this area a lot and in reading Proverbs 31 I am realizing I am just not cutting it at all. The biggest area I don't cut it in is being respectful to Geoff, always encouraging him, never undermining his authority, doing things to honour his name (and not cutting him up to others). But most of all I have a hard time in giving up the leadership of the family, in allowing him lead our family in all aspects. I don't know what this looks like to be honest. Help me God to understand how to do this. Help me to see how I can give up control to him even though I see him as out of control at times. Show me how to not use my success as a working person, my ability to keep employed and being the consistent breadwinner in our family as a way to excuse why I 'need' to be in control of this family.
God I am just searching here so much. I need your help Lord. I need to become a better wife and a better person within my household. I need to manage things better here and have a home that is honouring to you. Please help me to turn to you for guidance and help me to find the resources that will make this happen.
I want to honour you God and I am asking for your forgiveness for the areas that I have not been doing this so far. I am so very sorry God.
Today I vow to make a change in the wife that I am and I will try hard to honour you in all of this.