Today you have the story of Jacob wrestling with you in human form from Genesis in my hands and my heart. I have to admit, it really makes me think of all that I wrestle with, all that I feel torn about and not wanting to give up. It's so hard to change God, it's hard to give up the things that I know aren't the best for me, aren't the most honouring to you, take away from my time with you, with your word, with prayer and with my family too. It's so hard to give up the foods I love and the time I have in order to prepare my body to serve you.
I know what some of those things are and yet I continue to justify why I can't give them up, I continue to fight you on this. I let the enemy control my time instead letting you control it. I let myself be selfish instead of remembering the selflessness of your son, Jesus.
God help me to keep my focus on you. Help me to put you first. Open my eyes and my heart to the time I can be giving to you to read your word and pray instead focusing on the things that are my selfish wants and needs.
I want to serve you Lord but I am so easily tempted to serve myself. I want to eat healthy, want to be more active and fit...and yet I give in to sweets, snacks, treats...and give in to thing like facebook instead of working out, spending time with you and with my family.
I am vowing today to make an stronger effort to change. I vowing to being more dedicated to the things I feel are coming from you.
Thank you Lord for all that you continue to bless me with