Self Control

Father God you are so amazing.  You work in such wonderful ways, such admirable ways.  You place just what we need to hear, need to read in our hands at just the right time.  Your divine ways are so awesome.
You know how I am struggling.  You know how hard it has been for me to continue to be healthier, to lose the weight that has plagued me for years.  And now you have placed a book in my hands that has given me, in just 10 pages, a perspective on why I need to do this that I've never considered.

Titus 2:11-13

New International Version (NIV)

11 For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ,

Self Control... not something I have much of many days.  I have good intentions many days but until I began reading Every Body Matters I really gave it no thought as to why I needed to have intentions.  And even as I write this I realize that my intentions really weren't that 'good'...they were honouring to you but instead were honouring to me.  I thought of it only from my perspective.  I wanted to lose weight to look better (totally selfish) but also to feel better.  I cut out some foods from my diet with the hopes of feeling better and that is great...but it's not the right reason.
Jesus you saved me. You came into my life when I was in desperate need of change, of salvation.  You helped me find my way out of a dark pit that as surrounding me.  You gave me hope.
And what have I done for you God.  I know that there are answers.  I have impacted others with my testimony with the purpose of helping others to find you.  But until I began to read this book I really gave no thought to the body I am using to do this with.  As Gary Thomas wrote, 'The reason I get into shape is not to impress others or make them feel inferior, not to demonstrate personal discipline and self control but to become, as Paul writes, instruments for special purposes, made Holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do good work'.  
I was saved to serve... we all were.  
Wow...saved to serve... very powerful idea that I am 100% sure that so many Christians have not fully contemplated...not from this perspective.
How can we be saved to serve if our bodies are healthy enough to serve? 
God I need your help.  I need you to open my eyes and close my mouth. I need you slow down my whirling mind so that I can hear you and reve up my body to become more and more fit.  Help me find the time to fit all of this in.  Help me to see how important this is.  I know that I am meant to do great things...we all are...it says so in Jeremiah 29:11.  You have plans for me and I am getting in your way...my body, my selfishness, my appetite, my laziness...all of these things get in your way.
God I just want to be something great for you.  I want others to be able to see me as a light to you.  But I need to remember that the focus is on you.  I need to get healthy, to lose this weight, to strengthen this body not for me, not for my reasons...but for yours.  So that I am stronger and more able to serve you.
I dream of a day that I can just go on any mission trip you wish me to.  That I am healthy and strong and able to go anywhere you call me to.  I need to be able to survive without the foods I THINK are important.  I need to have the stamina to keep going.  I need to feel healthy and not have a mind that is clouded, fuzzy, foggy...overtaken by the foods that my body never needed in the first place so that I can focus on you and your message to me.
Thank you amazing Father for placing the words in my hands, in my eyes, in my mind and in my heart...the words I needed to hear.
You are so amazing Lord!  I am here to serve you!
Amen