Saturday, January 12, 2013

Unpredictable Emotions

Day 6

The unpredictable timing and odd combinations of emotions that hit you during grief can leave you confused and despairing.

I am pretty sure that everyone reading this can relate 100% to this... one moment you are ok and the next you are a sobbing mess.  I will admit, it doesn't happen to me very often anymore and that's why, when it does, it is so very hard on me.  Like I said earlier, this year it was putting up the Christmas tree and seeing all our memorial ornaments but it's been all kinds of things... firsts in Cam's life (walking, talking, even surgery), cute moments or things he says, seeing my boys all together, matching anything at times (clothes, toys etc). It can hit you at any time and rip your heart open.

"My life was totally flipped upside down emotionally, in every way you could think of," says Sue, whose husband died.

Your emotions not only hit hard, but they can also occur at unexpected moments, which makes the impact seem even worse. Being aware of the unpredictable nature of your emotions will help you stand firm during each new barrage. God's promises in the Bible will also help you to persevere.

Sometimes this is just simply knowing what not to set yourself up for...what shows not to watch, who not to hang out with (like your friend with twins or the person who has a child named the same as your little angel within a few days either way of the anniversary of your loss for example), songs you just can't listen to...the list could go on and on.  We have to learn how to protect our hearts at times and where to go at others when protection isn't working, when the pain is too much.  
In Matthew 5:4 Jesus promises comfort and a blessing for those who go through the process of grief and mourning: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

Isaiah 61

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
    for the Lord has anointed me
    to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted
    and to proclaim that captives will be released
    and prisoners will be freed.[a]
He has sent me to tell those who mourn
    that the time of the Lord’s favor has come,[b]
    and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
To all who mourn in Israel,[c]
    he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
    festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
    that the Lord has planted for his own glory.
Lord, when my emotions come and go with no semblance of order, remind me that this is to be expected during grief, and help me to stand firm. 
Help me to know that this is all 'normal' but more than this, help me to remember that I only need to ask you to comfort me and your loving arms will wrap around me and you will ease my burdens and pain.

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